It was a Wednesday morning, and I was left standing alone at the altar. It was the morning of Josh and Ashley’s wedding, and Ben had run to pick up a few things. Oh, and yes, you read that right. It was a Wednesday. Ashley was determined to get married on their 5th anniversary, which fell in the middle of the week.
I stood where later that day my son would marry his high school sweetheart. Where we would walk down the aisle to The Lord of the Rings and her to The Princess Bride. Fitting as we were in the middle of nature, complete with a pond and the rippling of a small stream. The birds were chirping, the sky was blue, and the sun was shining. It was a perfect morning, and the breeze was light.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was at peace. I turned around and saw pews made from tree trunks and imagined all the guests arriving shortly. I decided to pray for them, for Josh, and for Ashley. I started to walk the property down to the tents where we would later eat and dance together. I prayed for the Holy Spirit to show up in a mighty way, for His presence to be so strong we would not doubt it was Him. I thanked Him for everything He had done in my own marriage.
Lauren, a family friend who had volunteered to decorate the tables, arrived. Ben came shortly after. We offered to help, but she said she worked better alone, so we headed back home to prepare to give our son away.
We quickly dressed and went back to see if Lauren needed any help finishing up. We arrived to find her scurrying around to pick up all the candles and the flowers that had blown over. Tablecloths were whipping up, knocking down what she had just placed back up. The wind had picked up since we had left, and the decorations were blowing. Her eyes were wide in panic; we started to help.
“I don’t know what to do; I still need to go home and get dressed,” she said, and I started to laugh. I told her I prayed for the Spirit to show up in a mighty way, and He did. I then looked up at the sky and said: “Thank you for coming; we know you are here, so now if you could slow this wind down a bit, that would be great.”
It didn’t stop immediately, but it did slow enough to get everything back in place.
We walked down to where the guest would be arriving and took some pictures. Pastor Kathy prayed with my family of four that was about to grow by one more.
Ashley was hiding in a white tent nearby. My heart ached to see her, but she was in there with her family and bridesmaids. I walked over to the tent and said, “Ashley”.
“Natalie,” she said. “I’m in a box.”
“What?” I said. “I want to see you.”
She told me I could come in, and I cried. She looked beautiful, and she was in a cardboard box because her heels were sinking.
I asked if we could pray, and her mom, her bridesmaids, and I all held hands and prayed in a circle in a tent with the bride in a box.
I snuck back out to greet the guests with the guys. Ben and I walked down the aisle of grass holding hands to The Lord of the Rings theme song. I smiled knowing Josh had chosen that song as he, Ben, and Aiden had watched those movies over and over again growing up.
The rest of the parents and grandparents came down. And then Pastor Kathy, Josh, Payton, and Aiden came down next.
And then Ashley’s mom, Tammy, and I got the privilege to sprinkle petals where they would say their vows. Ashley had saved every petal from every flower that Josh had given her over their 5 years together. And her step-mother Danielle took part too, and she was the one who remembered to get them out from under the pew for us.
Lily and Hannah came next. And then because I had already seen Ashley, I took a quick peek and then kept my eyes on my son when I heard the Princess Bride music start. He teared up just like his father had done when I walked down the aisle. And I knew he would make a great husband. He learned from the best.
Pastor Kathy then told the story of their 5 years together. Their struggle of a long-distance relationship through college and the loss of her uncle. And how they stuck together through it all. I sat and soaked it all in. These kids had given us the privilege of walking through all of it alongside them. The calls for advice or support, and the goal was always to stay together. That is what was so beautiful about watching their struggles. They never asked for a way out.
They said “I do”, kissed, and then the joy of the music “Carry You Home” had us all dancing back the aisle.
Then hugs everywhere and so many pictures. So much joy that we didn’t even care that the neighbor’s dog Roscoe was peeing on one of the tables.
They had their first dance to their song “Grow As We Go”. There was a coffee and donut bar, cake cutting, and speeches. Aiden … he knocked it out of the park.
Josh and I danced to “These Precious Moments,” and I told him he was on his own. He had a new family now, and we would help no matter what, but Ashley had to come first. We cried as I felt like I was giving away one of my very best friends. I told him he was ready. His dad and I were so proud of him, and he learned how to take care of a family by watching his father. He thanked us for everything, and he meant it.
We ate, laughed, and danced all night. None of us wanted it to end. But the night came, and we danced the final dance, “Take Yours, and I’ll Take Mine”. It is about choosing each other, letting go of pride, grace and forgiveness, and building a future together. The song was a perfect ending to a perfect day.
Our hearts were full. We wouldn’t have changed a thing. Well, maybe one: I did feel bad I accidentally punched Ashley’s dad in the face during the bridal dance.
The next day, after breakfast, we went back to tear it all down. The guys went to drop something off in town, and Ashley and I sat down on the swing.
“Want to read what everyone wrote in our Bible?” She asked.
“Um, yes!!!” Had she met me?
She started at the back. I told her my mom reads the newspaper that way. The last entry we read was from my nephew Ryan, who picked Genesis 1; he figured the beginning was a good place to start. I think he is right.
We cleaned up and tore down the decorations, and we tucked that joyful day in our hearts to remember forever.
Later that day, I got the privilege of taking my new daughter-in-law for coffee. We sat outside at Sit-N-Stay and took turns telling our favorite memory with each person at the wedding.
So much joy.
So here we are one year later. A lot has happened. They moved to a different town. They bought and remodeled a house. They paid off some debt. Got a new car. And this week they finally got to take their honeymoon.
We are all so proud of them and hope they rest. It’s been a lot of changes in a short amount of time. But they are blessed.
I don’t have a gift for them, so I’ll leave them with this.
1) Remember often how you felt about each other that day. Think of it often. That person is still inside when life gets hard. Try to find them.
2) Love is not always a feeling; it’s a choice. Choose love, no matter what.
3) And when you can’t seem to let something go … ask God to take over and leave it at the altar.
I promise He will show up … His Spirit may blow a few things over, but it will be worth it.
Love you both.
Natalie
💕
Natalie's Inviting Balance 